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Jenjer's Story

girl painting

There are so many reasons why I opened BummerSheep. I needed a place like BummerSheep when I was younger. A safe place I could have gone to.

BummerSheep means in Dutch, "Een Verloren Schaap". Where I come from, a "Bummer" is the one you don't expect to do anything special and they are often seen as the smallest or least appreciated of the group.

My name is Jenjer and I'm a BummerSheep. I am originally from Texas and have been living in the Netherlands since 2004. I don't have fancy titles for my name. I am not rich and I do not own expensive things. So basically as far as the world is concerned, I'm nobody. However, the truth is that quite a lot of people around me think I'm "weird" (a big compliment actually) and see me more as someone who knows how this world works.

Frankly, I had a very difficult childhood and past. For most of my life, I was told (through people's words or actions) that I was never going to become anything special. I did not grow up in a healthy environment. My past is full of sexual abuse, physical and emotional trauma.

By the time I was about 20 years old I believed I was going to live a second-rate life because of everything I'd been through. I believed I was someone who could 'run a business' but could never 'own' that business. I believed that I would always live in a 'rented house' because I would never become the person who could buy my 'own' house.

When I was 23 years old I almost succeeded in a suicide attempt. Fortunately, two wonderful people came into my life shortly afterward and showed me that there was a better way. They showed me who God really is and how He can change my life. You must understand, I had God in my life when I was little and I had an amazing relationship with Him. However, by the time I was 18 and so many things had happened to me, I turned my back on God. I couldn't understand how a loving God could have let all those terrible things happen to me. Full of asking the 'why me' and 'why did you allow that'. I walked away and tried to do life on my own.

Thankfully, before I totally lost my way and succeeded in checking out of this world. God brought Joyce Meyer and Craig Groeschel into my life. They taught me how to fight like a 'real' christian for a better life and how to escape the mental torture of the traumas from my past. I have learned from them for many years. Thanks to the ever loving grace of God and learning who He really is through their teachings, I finally escaped my past and changed my future! I'm a simple country girl christian. It's a walk that goes 24/7 and can't be found in only going to church on Sunday. You must read the bible, pray and learn how to hear Him.

If you wanted to stop reading at my earlier mention of "God" – I'm glad you didn't, and I promise you, I'm not ‘that' Christian.  You know the one(s) I'm talking about, that so-called Christian that hurt you by judging you or the one that made you feel as though God wasn't able to love someone like you. Maybe a church made you feel unwanted. I don't know, but you’re obviously reading this for a reason. Who knows, if you hang out for a minute, you just might like being in my world.

Now so many years later, I know my self worth in Jesus Christ!!! I am not forgotten! I am loved, I am special and very important! How did I manage it? I refused to GIVE UP! God doesn't want you to be perfect He wants you to keep trying each and everyday. The world we live in, will bring you to your knees and if you don't know how to fight back this world WILL break you, the same way it almost broke me.

Are you looking to know who God really is? Wanting a better life? Something needs to change, right? Then come here!!! What do you have to lose?

We are all perfect in our imperfections.

You are same kind of different as me, and you are no less than others!!!!


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